I am a college student at BYU. This naturally means that I am working toward marriage. Whenever that happens doesn't matter to me right now. I am focused on getting my education. But the bug going around is "get married" and nearly everyone seems to have it. If they don't, they must think about it all the time to try and avoid it! Anyway, I realized today that my post on seeing The Tempest live about a year ago can really apply to life and this whole getting married thing.
First of all I must explain the precedent: engagements at BYU happen fast. Abnormally fast decision making results in getting engaged after only two months of dating, or even two months after having met! It is slightly absurd in my mind, but before now I never really formulated the exact reason for this opinion. And now I see that critically analyzing Shakespeare's plays can apply to our real life marriage decisions.
The reason these couples get engaged and then married so quickly has in one part to do with our religion. We are LDS, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And we are taught to find our eternal companion and marry them in the temple, which will ensure that we are together forever. Obviously this is a huge decision and should not be taken lightly. But pressure in the BYU community tends to speed up the process. The Holy Ghost gives guidance and offers answers to prayers, so I can see that if you are asking you can get that answer, sometimes sooner than expected. And it is said that any two righteous people can have a happy marriage. I believe all this and testify to it. I believe that we all have a responsibility to search hard and make an effort and choose wisely who we want to spend time and all eternity with.
In other words, you can't judge a book by its cover. You cannot marry someone who you do not know only by their outward appearance. After the initial attraction must come the critical eye and the analyzing of the situation and the person. Judging is not supported, making quick assumptions is not kind or Christ-like, and initial acceptance or rejection only shows apathy and no investment. Meek personal introspection, fasting, and prayer, and deep consideration about this person is necessary and expected of us. If you tell me you have done this, then I will not worry that you have only known the person for two months.
When I saw the Tempest I came out excited and thrilled. It was fantastic, at first glance. I let the awesome parts cover for the disappointments that I saw and I made excuses for it. And then I went to Shakespeare class, where we critically opened it up and examined it. We were not ruthless, not really, but we couldn't judge the play by initial responses, either. Mine was based solely off of feelings and as I thought more about it I realized that I needed to compare and contrast and think a little harder about this particular performance. And that is similar to what is expected when you want to marry someone. Think about the person, what they are really like, what their good qualities are and their not-so-good qualities, how they will be in twenty years, and so forth. Love is wonderful, but make sure it is sincere and will last eternity and don't settle for less than what you deserve. THINK before you ACT!
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